Headline translation.

Last week, one of the major daily papers in Melbourne had an article in it under the headline;

OBESITY CRISIS LOOMS FOR WOMEN

The article then goes on to describe the results of the latest finding on obesity in women, and proposals for preventative actions and such. I think the meat of the article is really just a smoke screen for the actual meaning of the headline.

Australia is in the grip of Grand Final Fever. The two major football codes in this country have reached that week when the season winds up with the match that determines which team will be crowned champions. Actually, one - the Australian Football League (Aussie Rules Football) - was decided yesterday. Rugby League has their grand final next weekend. This brings us to the true meaning of the aforementioned headline.

Whilst it looks innocent enough, it is really a warning for women, written in "womenspeak". What is really being said is this;

WOMEN BEWARE! GRAND FINALS ARE ON, AND THERE WILL BE A LOT OF OVERWEIGHT MEN LOOKING FOR SEX!

You think I'm kidding, don't you?

Just ask any woman.