Saturday, November 26, 2005

Talking turkey.

Apparently it is a tradition for the President of the United States to hold a ceremony in which he pardons the annual Thanksgiving turkey. This year was no different. On November 22, George Dubya granted a Presidential pardon to a turkey named - wait for it - Marshmallow. and its companion, a stand-in called Yam. As to why a stand-in was required one can only surmise. Perhaps it was for the stunt scenes (see below).

Normally, the birds fortunate enough to be spared from the dinner table end up living out the remainder of their days at a farm called "Frying Pan Park". I kid you not. This year, however, the turkeys have been spared the ignominy, and instead will serve as honourary Grand Marshalls at Disneyland's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Afterwards, they will remain at Disneyland until their allotment of daylight runs out.

Bravely resisting the opportunity to make pun - sorry, FUN - of the situation and point out the obvious references to turkeys political or avian, I'll just draw your attention to ancient Rome. It too was once the super power of the world, and its leaders also indulged in some pretty bizarre antics. We all know what happened to them.

Is history, perchance, repeating?

Annual Thanksgiving Turkey, Marshmallow
(or possibly Yam), shows his
gratitude at receiving a Presidential pardon.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Wall flowers.

Prime Minister Howard and President
Bush try to determine the reason for
their sudden plummet in popularity.
Bad breath, perhaps?

Monday, November 07, 2005

Letter of resignation.

Taken from an E-mail, author unknown:

I am hereby tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think it's a four star restaraunt.

I want to sail sticks across mud puddles and make ripples with rocks.

I want to think M&M's are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot Summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried ar upset.

I want to think the world is fair and that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor's bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So here's my chequebook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my tax statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, 'cause, "Tag! You're it!"

More thoughts on this to come ...