Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Somewhere Over My Cerebrum

You know those songs that pop into your head and never leave? Kind of like a relative who arrives unannounced on your doorstep and then decides to stay for a couple of weeks; it's good to see them at first but then they become annoying.

It happens to me all the time - at least twice a week - and I seem to be most vulnerable just after I wake up in the morning and start preparing breakfast. The kettle boils while Ben E. King begs Stand By Me, muffins are toasted as Marvin Gaye croons about Sexual Healing, and tea bags jiggle as Kermit The Frog laments that It's Not Easy Being Green.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy listening to music. My partner might even go so far as to suggest I'm obsessed with listening to it. But the annoying thing about these songs is that I never get the full version. The needle gets stuck on one part and continually plays over and over and over, an eternal loop that makes you feel like banging your head against a hard surface to see if you can make it jump to the next bit. I'm sure you're familiar with the torment.

Allow me to introduce today's performer. Ladies and gentlemen, here to entertain us with her classic hit-song Over The Rainbow, Judy Garland! The trouble is, she can't get over it. I don't care that bluebirds fly there. I don't give a stuff that it's way up high. I just want her to get over the damn thing!

You see my torture? "And why are you telling me", I hear you ask? Okay, you got me. There's an ulterior motive. I figured that if I told you the name of the artist - and if you weren't paying attention the first time I'll reiterate - JUDY GARLAND - and the name of the song - OVER THE RAINBOW - it might stick in your head and annoy you for a while.

Hey! A problem shared is a problem halved, right? And why should I be the only one to suffer? Anyway, time for me to go. I'll talk to you again soon. I hope you and Ms Garland have a nice day.

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