Saturday, May 27, 2006

If you're going to tell this joke, make sure you're sober first.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A wonky donky.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind?
A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing a blue-suede shoe?
A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing a blue-suede shoe and playing piano?
A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing a blue-suede shoe and playing piano and driving a bus?

F***in' talented!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

That's the spirit.

This little tid-bit first came to my notice over on the Lone Ranger's blog. I just couldn't help myself.
Builders Find Body In Rum Barrel

Builders at a house in Hungary drank a barrel of rum, only to find a pickled corpse at the bottom, a Hungarian police website has reported.

The man's body fell out when the workers tried to move the 300-litre (66-gallon) barrel at the end of their binge, the report on Zsaru.hu said.

The website said the man's wife had stored the body in the barrel after he died in Jamaica 20 years ago.

The workers said the rum had a "special taste" and had planned to bottle some.

The website said the builders made the grisly discovery six months after the woman, who was in her 80s, died. It said the woman had shipped her husband's body back home to the city of Szeged in the rum barrel to avoid the cost and paperwork involved in sending it back by official means.

The report is the latest such account to emerge of bodies discovered preserved in liquor, some of which have been discounted as myths.

As the Lone Ranger said, this beats the worm at the bottom of a bottle of tequila. Although I reckon even the most dedicated tippler would be put off from ever imbibing again, don't you? I bet those workers will never help themselves ever again.

Still, it sheds new light on the phrase "drinking yourself to death".

And rum comes in three varieties; light bodied, medium bodied, and full (heavy) bodied. In a tongue-in-cheek type of coincidence, the full bodied rums are made in Jamaica where the woman's husband had died. I'm not sure, though, that this is what they had in mind when coming up with the description. But I bet at least one person involved had a silly smile on his face.

Or maybe when the woman, trying to find a way of getting her husband's remains home without the expense of official channels, asked if there wasn't some way she could spirit the body out of the country, something got lost in the translation.

Well, as the British would say; "What a rum show!"